Nobody Died, So It's OK To Laugh...I Hope

The AP headline says it all—“Virginia Laptop Sale Turns Into Stampede.” Man, do I love non-fatal mayhem. Especially the kind that blossoms when a school sale of 1,000 cut-rate used iBooks turns into a riot of epic proportions...

"This is total, total chaos," said Latoya Jones, 19, who lost one of her flip-flops in the ordeal...

Right, I know it's not technically funny. Somebody could have been seriously hurt. But...but...but...I just can't stop giggling. And the reporter includes so many lovingly ludicrous details in her story, it's hard to believe that she wasn't trying smother her laughter over the woeful tale of a small town driven mad by $50 iBook fever.

Witnesses said...someone in a car tried to drive his way through the crowd.

People, I know those iBooks are hot, but attempting to drive your car through a crowd full of cops and school teachers = BAD IDEA. I can relate to these folks—I can barely afford to keep myself in gasoline, let alone buy a pricy laptop I’ll only end up sitting on. I'd probably join the people who were lining up at 4 a.m. -- but I'm not sure if I'd go as far as Mr. Jesse Sandler, who's not a guy you want to cut in line:

"Jesse Sandler said he was one of the people pushing forward, using a folding chair he had brought with him to beat back people who tried to cut in front of him.

"I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam,'" the 20-year-old said nonchalantly, his eyes glued to the screen of his new iBook…

Bam indeed.